Ripped
by X-Kiwi-X
Summary: Life is full of mysteries. Falling for the girl you blame for your lovers death is one of them....plz r and r. Or at least read!
1. His View: Alone

Ripped Disclaimer: Not mine never will be.  
  
I hate it. All of it. The lake so calm. I hate it. The squid so peaceful. I hate it. Everyone is so sorry. I hate it.  
  
They have no clue. It's empty. All so empty. Nothing. Repeatedly seeing the scene when she died. No idea where her body is. I hate them. Why did they do it? Locked me out, left me, left alone nothing to do to help. But I don't hate them. I love them. Well, used to. The feelings have been ripped from me. Life ripped. People said that I would get through this. What the fuck do they know? And who the fuck do they think they are? All the same. It's like a broken record.  
  
"I am so sorry dear. Please understand their reasons. They did it to protect you.."  
  
It's a bit of a game really. You laugh. People stare and you laugh. A loud hollow mirthless laugh. But I can't keep it up anymore. The mask, the facade. I hate them. Then she came to me. Her eyes were warm with sincerity. She didn't speak just hugged me. Exactly the way I had always wished. The way best friends did. Like we had done every Saturday when we met up. But I pushed her away. Her eyes filled with tears. Her mouth dropped. Her body sagged like it had had a ton of weight placed on her solders and her face aged a thousand years. Her worst fears I knew I had confirmed. The group had split up. So close in life but now parted through death. The very opposite we had sworn would not happen had. We had broken.  
  
Now I'm here by the lake alone. I've seen her round yeah, but she's alone. She's not the girl I knew. Over the top, up for anything, hyper girl who would try anything once. She's quite and withdrawn. Her marks are dropping. She's given up. All because of me. And I hate myself for what I have done to us. To us all. To our group. Because of their fight. Not mine or in fact any of ours. Just her and my girlfriends fight. And she came back. Mine girlfriend of two years didn't. Two long, amazing years. And she even let the basterd take her body. I don't even get that. But she survived didn't she. Not my girlfriend. And I hate her for it. 


	2. Her View: Alone

Ripped Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Please note though every chapter will be a different point of view. One from the boy, one from the girl.  
  
He hates everything. He hates me. He hates calm. He hates chaos. And we can do nothing to help him. The others have given up. They've all abandoned hope of bringing what's left of our group back together because of him. Doesn't he know how I am feeling? My friend died and I had to watch. She crumpled to the ground bleeding and I had to watch. He made her scream in pain and I had to watch. He beat her. And I had to watch. And then he killed her. Tortured her to death. Waited till she was on the edge and was unconscious then brought her round. Then sent one more unforgivable at her. She died screaming. All through this I was bound gagged and almost unhurt. How can I blame him for hating me? I hate myself.  
  
I tried. I wanted to help him. I thought that if he could forgive me I could forgive myself. But he can't. And I realize now I can never forgive myself. I should have broken free. I'm a bloody witch for fuck's sake! I should be able to do something. But no. I can't. Not when it's needed. When I could do some good. I've given up on school. There's no point. In fact I have given up on everything magic. It didn't help me when I needed it so it won't now. I don't do anything. My grades have gone through the roof. Only problem is I'm sitting on the first floor. Mum and Dad are dead so no hassle from them. Why did this happen? Why can't he just let me say goodbye? He sees me he runs away. He ignores me. And there's nothing I can do.  
  
But I need to see him. He is my last link, my last hope to get the group together again. So I'm following him. And that's why I'm behind this rock with him on the other side. That's why I'm staring at the lake. What I don't know is why I'm going round to talk to him. What I don't know why he isn't leaving. What I don't know is why I'm sitting next to him. What I don't know is why I am going to say what I am going to say. But I take the breath anyway. 


	3. His View: The meeting

Ripped Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Please note though every chapter will be a different point of view. One from the boy, one from the girl.  
  
She here. Next to me. Siting. Bold as day. As though she has done nothing wrong. It's all I can do to stop me hitting her. Torturing her like my Parvati was tortured. But I'm not prepared for what she says next.  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"What?" I keep my eyes on the lake because I have a huge urge to hit her. Hard. I just have to think. Never hit a girl, never hit a girl.  
  
"I hate you for what you've to me. You turned me into a boring slob. You've made me give up on life in general. I hate what you've done to the group. You broke us. You did the opposite of what everyone wanted." I was shaking with rage. HER. SHE WAS TRYING TO LAY A GUILT TRIP ON ME. THE FUCKING BITCH. SHE HAS NO RIGHT. She looked into my eyes and continued.  
  
"Parvati would hate you for what you've done."  
  
I went into shock. Parvati. She said her name. That bitch said her name. That little slut, whore.cunt. THAT FUCKER. And before I know it I've hit her. Again. All my anger for months into these punches I'm throwing. She fell down and I stood up. The height helped me feel powerful. She was trembling and weak. This made most attackers stop. It spurred me on.  
  
"How dare you say her name. She is-was better then you can ever be. You can never reach her standard. I hate you. You murderer. You were a very powerful witch. You could have broken free. You could have saved her. I loved-LOVE her. And you took her away from me. I can never see her again. And you, I never liked you anyway. It was all the others. You were always flirting with me when she was alive. And now you stalk me. Do you think I could ever like you again? I see you everywhere. In charms you stare at me. Can't you get it through your thick skull? I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS. I HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT I'M AFRAID OF HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED YOU DIED WITH PARVATI, GRANGER!"  
  
I bite my lip till it bleeds. The pain. The pain is real. Unlike everything around me. It's all so fake. It hides the secrets of a thousand years in these grounds. Secrets of pain, betrayal and murder. The ripping feeling returned only this time it was more powerful. It was painful. Not a sharp pain but a heavy, dull throb. Worse then a sharp pain. It sat there throbbing. I could do nothing to stop it. A sharp pain leaves after a while. But this one would stay. Forever. I would be alone forever with this pain. A hollow feeling entered my stomach and I realized it was fear. Then one thought managed to get through my cotton wool brain. Suicide. The fear left me when I thought about it. I knew it was right. And I could see Parvati. My dear sweet Pav. Suddenly dying wasn't so bad. Now that I definitely wouldn't be alone. I looked to the lake. So calm. I hated it. Why should it be calm when I was so fucked up? I'll destroy its calm. I ran into the lake. Ripples spread out round me. Icy water caused goosebumps. It spread out. I ran on till I had to swim. I thrashed about as much as possible to cause more disturbance. The ripples spread out. I thrash harder. They turn into waves. Water. Supposed to purify you. This water is dark. Brown and muddy. This water holds more filthy secrets then anyone could ever imagine. The thrashing gets weaker as my clothes pull me under. The last thing I hear before I submerge is Grangers voice calling. It sounds so sad and alone. My smile widens. I've caused chaos and managed to make her feel how I feel.  
  
"RON." 


	4. Her view: The meeting

Ripped Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Please note though every chapter will be a different point of view. One from the boy, one from the girl.  
  
I don't know why I'm doing this but I can't help it. He needs to know.  
  
"I hate you." He looks at the lake his body tense.  
  
"What?" His voice is rough though he long gave up using it. He stares at the lake and I notice his hands have gone white as his nails bite into his palms. But I carry on regardless. If he hits me I want to have said my piece first.  
  
"I hate you for what you've to me. You turned me into a boring slob. You've made me give up on life in general. I hate what you've done to the group. You broke us. You did the opposite of what everyone wanted." His jaw hardens and his whole body shakes. Then I surprise myself. I sat there thinking Hit me, Hit me, HIT ME. I want him to. To make myself feel less guilty. But he controls his temper. The one time I wish that he didn't. I know just what to do. But I would have to say her name. I'm not sure if I deserve to. But I will anyway. So he'll hit me.  
  
"Parvati would hate you for what you've done."  
  
I can't believe I said her name. Nor can he. His body has tensed up and he looks like a spring ready to release. His hands free them selves where I can see angry crescent moon shapes left. His face looks like that of a foxhunter before it goes in for the kill. Cruel, twisted and downright scary. I began to shake in anticipation but I feel no fear. Maybe I should turn to give him a better shot. I start to move but he catches me off guard. He hits me. I feel dazed. Like I've been woken up from sleeping for a long time. Again and again he hit. I knew he was going to attack but I had no idea it would be this ferocious. I feel sick and my head is spinning. Right before I pass out he throws his last punch and I fall down. He stands up and I look to him. I can feel my hands shaking and this is dream like. I didn't want anymore pain. Hadn't seeing her being killed been enough? Was she to suffer the rest of her life?  
  
Then that small little voice entered her head again. You could have helped. It's your fault. You sat there happy and larry while she was writhing in pain and did jack shit. I look up at him. He's tall, taller then I had ever noticed. He looks like he's going to explode.  
  
"How dare you say her name. She is-was better then you can ever be. You can never reach her standard. I hate you. You murderer. You were a very powerful witch. You could have broken free. You could have saved her. I loved-LOVE her. And you took her away from me. I can never see her again. And you, I never liked you anyway. It was all the others. You were always flirting with me when she was alive. And now you stalk me. Do you think I could ever like you again? I see you everywhere. In charms you stare at me. Can't you get it through your thick skull? I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS. I HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT I'M AFRAID OF HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED YOU DIED WITH PARVATI, GRANGER!"  
  
This is more then I deserve. We've been through everything. EVERYTHING. Since bastard left and the group grew and. How can he say that? I don't care he's seen me follow him but he wants me dead. To numb for tears I just sit there. This is what I've done. Made him hate me. Made them all hate me. Because I'm so fucking weak. No wonder the group split. They couldn't stand me. I'm sitting holding my head. I don't deserve life. Parvati does and I took that right away from her. I have to go tonight. I know he has probably gone. Left me alone. Run away from the bad luck I cause people. But I feel the need to say goodbye but he wouldn't come near me with a ten foot barge pole. So I'll shout it to his back but I won't look up. But I can't say goodbye. It's not a good bye it's a shit bye. It's a hell hole bye. I can't say good. I'll just say his name. So with my hands pulling at my hair and my head facing the ground I yell.  
  
"RON!" 


	5. His view: The after effects

Ripped Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Please note though every chapter will be a different point of view. One from the boy, one from the girl.  
  
Submerged. Water. Everywhere. But I'm not scared as I used to be. When I was younger I couldn't have a bath my fear was so great. It seems ironic that the one of my many great fears was killing me and I didn't care. I relished as a tingling feeling entered my toes, shivered I anticipation as it rose to my calves, delighted in it as I realize that it had claimed up to my waist. Smiled one last time as it hit my neck and my vision went black..........................  
  
I was once again relishing in the feeling which was to overcome me. The tingling, but it was different. Hadn't I done this part? Wasn't I supposed to feel nothing? But what if you still had feelings when you're dead? Then there would have been no point to me doing this. I would still have the pain, the guilt, the hate, the .................everything. With this horror filled thought I sat up, immediately wishing I hadn't. My head throbbed and I felt bile rising in my stomach. I lent to the right quickly and threw up.  
  
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Gross." A sickly sweet cheerleader voice rattled through my head. My brain throbbed. They were to high pitched for me when I hadn't just been sick but now with a headache the size of the Mississippi I was in no mood for there pathetic thoughts. I looked up ready to give her a piece of my vast anger when I saw what had happened to her. In front of me stood a slim blond haired blue eyed girl. She could have been pretty but the slight fact of he mouth and cheeks covered in huge boils made me smirk. And one worthy of Slytherin if I say so myself.  
  
"Like your one to talk. Err, the curtains are there. Use them. Your ugly mug is enough to make me throw up again in itself." She looked upset. If fact by the time I had blinked she was positively baling running to the toilets next to the Hospital Wing. A dark haired boy walked up to him and stared at him angrily.  
  
"Dammit, I only just got her outta there!" And off he stormed following her exact footsteps. To the bathroom where I suspected water may be leaking out of the door. But I had to admit she was right. I was gross. I felt gross. My head throbbed, my body was battered and bruised and I was freezing all over. I thought sick people came here? Why make them worse by them getting a cold? Bloody hell. I shivered and heard a voice open a door.  
  
"You told me to come and fetch you as soon as he awoke." "Yes Miss Granger you did well. Now would you like to come in?"  
  
"Better not sir. He blames me." Her voice quiet I strained to hear it.  
  
"It's not your fault." I fell off the bed. Maybe from shock or maybe from gravity as I was leaning right off the bed. My anger burned in my chest as I turned the corner.  
  
"NOT HER FAULT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
A/N: COME ON I'M DESPERATE. Please.................even flames welcome. BTW I LOVE ALL WHO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST CLICK THAT LITTLE BUTTON FOR THE INSTANT KNOWLEDGE SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD LOVES YOU *HINT, HINT* *puppy dog look* 


	6. Her view: The after effects

Ripped Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Please note though every chapter will be a different point of view. One from the boy, one from the girl.  
  
I look up. The sun is blaring into my eyes. It hurts. No where near enough for me to care. The pain is inside and god does it hurt. Talking of God.................Yo God. Gimme a way to make things better please. I know I've never prayed before and all but you are my last hope. If your there..............  
  
It was then I was woken out of my daze realizing that my feet were in the water and bloody freezing. I flipped over onto my back and as I did so I caught sight of a commotion in the lake. It wasn't really a commotion. More a slipping motion. As though sighing into a hot warm bath. I looked closer and what I saw made me scream. Face down in the water was a red headed. The uniform was dragging him under to the dark mysterious depths below. Without realizing I had traveled waist depth into the water and was poised as though going to dive and save him, but then a thought hit me. Why should I? Hadn't he shouted he wanted me dead a few moments before? Had he not beaten her to an inch of conciseness?  
  
Moments froze then. Scenes jumbled in my head. Lives of my peers and me flashed. And in that second I saw what I had become. I had become what I had hated. What I had done by pausing meant that this was the first time I had been willing to risk the life of my friends. For my satisfaction. Maybe that is why I hadn't helped. Had let her die. I wanted too. But.........  
  
Man this subconscious is a weird thing I think as I find myself right next to Ron. I flipped him on his back and swam quickly. Fear flamed in my stomach as I realized he was paler then white. His freckles seemed to have disappeared and his lips were blue. I speeded up my kicking and suddenly saw a flash of golden streaked hair. I looked and saw Draco helping me his face paler then the bloody barons. I looked in his worried gray eyes and nodded. It had been in 6th year we had become acquaintances. Not friends. But Voldemort had killed Draco's mother after discovering she was pregnant with a girl. Apparently he had no use for girls. They were weak and gave into emotions. But he had realized his wrong soon after. Lucius and Draco had walked out. Unable to stand the brutality any longer they had headed straight to Dumbledore and told him all. Voldemort was not impressed? Understatement of the millenium. He was pissed off. Umbridge style. He had tracked them down and in the last battle managed to kill Lucius. Draco never got over it. But He still lived of his instincts beaten in to him by that basterd. He still couldn't live with me because I wasn't pureblood but Draco and Ron were like soul mates.  
  
We got him ashore and found Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey fretting around. Ron was whisked from our grasp as soon as we stood up and gone into the castle before we could blink. Dumbledore passed us a pepper up potion and hurried us in. Not a word was spoken as we stood round the bed. Dumbledore passed me a small red piece of paper.  
  
"When he wakes write the message on here. I will get it instantly and come straight here." He left. Draco stayed a while. Might of been an hour maybe two but I couldn't care less when he left. I just stared at the face that once had so much vigor and life. Now it was drawn and a frown line had appeared in the forehead. It was a new face on a new body. Not Ron. Ronald. What had I done?  
  
After a few seconds he groaned and moved his eyes fluttered and I Ron out of the room. He didn't need me here. He hated me. I wrote a short message to Dumbledore and true to his word he appeared almost instantly at my side, making me look at him. The most interest I've shown in anything in the last day.  
  
"You told me to come and fetch you as soon as he awoke." I said it blandly. Lack of sleep is hell on the soul. Also the realization that I don't care may have played a part to it but hey you never know. He smiled.  
  
"You did well Miss granger. Now would you like to come in?"  
  
I looked him in the eye.  
  
"Better not sir. He blames me." Dumbledore's eyes lost their twinkle and his mouth sagged.  
  
"It's not your fault." He said it softly. Then there was a thump. We turned quickly and saw Ron standing there fury written on his face yet again but his anger was directed at Dumbledore.  
  
"NOT HER FAULT?"  
  
A/N pretty plz with knobs and anything else you want on top. ( 


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